A Mom’s Separation Anxiety

Man proposes, God disposes

We like to plan everything. PERIOD! We like to have deadlines. We like to have goals and we want to map out our lives pretty much in advance. When will we get married? When do we want to buy a house or when will we start planning for a baby etc. Living in moment (no matter how prudent it seems), is always a scary thought. Last week for me was a gentle reminder that nothing is planned. Especially, after you become a MOM.

I was working on two different ideas for my blog this week. Both of them were peppy and bursting with motherly enthusiasm. I still want to write those and share with you guys but I don’t think this is the right time. Especially, when I am nothing but a bundle of nerves right now.

I recently started looking for work. I don’t have any job in hand not even a freelance assignment but pangs of separation anxiety that I am already experiencing is scary.

The Change Leading to Separation Anxiety

Whenever I feel there is a change coming around my spider senses go on high alert. Usually, my pre-baby self wouldn’t have bothered so much but one thing that has changed after my baby boy, is I think and I think a lot. I know every action I take will have affect on him. Like every parent I am always cautious about how my life’s decisions will impact him. Therefore, big decision which is giving me sleepless nights is “While I am thinking of going back to work, how this change will affect me and my  family?”

How do I feel about going back to work?

I am excited, nervous, confused, petrified and almost on the verge of meltdown. Last night when I was putting my baby to bed, I held him little closer, little harder and I just didn’t want to let him go. There is this battle going on inside me between “Mother & Women”, that I am. Mother is screaming and shouting at the woman that it’s too early. He is too small. Mother is constantly questioning how can you leave him in someone else’s care? Woman in me is trying to calm the mother by saying that she will be able to do it. I will be able to take care of my baby and work. All will be fine. He will be fine.

I still don’t know who is going to win this battle. Or universe will have a divine intervention and I will get a job where I am able to balance it out.

Right now, in this moment, I just don’t know!! I have never left my baby alone till date for more than 3 or 4 hour and that has also been just with his dad. I know we will have to ease into the whole process but I am unable to find a way easy my anxieties. I am trying hard to “live in the moment and not get swayed by my overthinking tired mind”.

How I am coping with this separation anxiety?

Family:

My husband, baby and pup are three people who are keeping me steady on my feet. Hubby dear is my strength, baby is my happiness and my pup is the constant reminder to live in the moment. In his dog language he is probably saying just eat and go to sleep.

All in good time:

I think I should get this phrase tattooed. This is my life’s motto. I have said this to my friends, family and myself when ever things have gotten tough. I am hoping it will get me through again. But other than this I think I need help in ideas from other mothers.

How do working moms deal with separation anxiety?

All dearest mommies who are reading this, please tell in the comments how do you guys do it? How did you convince yourself to go back to work? How mother in your adjusted and still adjusts to this feeling that I have and I am not able to shake off? How do I trust any care I choose for my baby? Are they going to feed him better than I do? How are they going to care and pay attention to every thing that he does the way I do? I know I am overthinking but then how do you stop that too?

I will really be looking forward to your comments and tips because this mommy blogger this week is just a mom who need tips.

Until next Tuesday

9 replies »

  1. Totally understand your feelings, because I’m currently in the same situation 😉 One side of mine wants to be independent already and start making money for our family’s future. The other side of mine just doesn’t want to leave this little angel 🙂 I’d like to hear some advice from working moms as well, but whatever we choose we both know, it was the decision motivated by love to our babies.

  2. I think everything you are feeling is completely normal. Parenting is a joy and having your own time even to work is also important but leaving your baby is a whole new ball game and it just showcases your pure love for your child!

  3. after I gave birth to my second son it’s hard for me to get back to work and decided to work at home and I love it I can manage my time while working at home.

  4. I can understand your anxiety, it is only natural that you put your child first and act in the child’s best interest. But anxiety and over-thinking, oh I know those without having any kids and those are terrible enemies to have. I’m sure you’ll be absolutely fine and I hope your baby grows happy and healthy and brings you nothing but joy!

  5. I agree with you. Returning to work and leaving your baby in somebody else’s hands is a very difficult thing to do. I had to do that but in my case I was lucky enough that my mom offered to take care of my baby. Huge plus!!!!

  6. Going back to work after having a baby is definitely difficult. That’s why I love working from home and the flexibility of the freelance lifestyle.

  7. I can only imagine how you’re feeling but I think what you’re doing right now is great! Lean on your support system and just take things one day at a time! Perhaps also consider keeping a diary of how you’re feeling each day and select one component to change for the next day or week. Feeling extremely overwhelmed one day (or week?)? Then the next day devote at least an hour doing what you love whether it’s relaxing with a good book, getting a mani-pedi, binging trashy TV, whatever! I think finding ways to cope with your emotions now will help when you find that fabulous job and create a healthy balance. Hope this helps!

  8. This is such a great post. At first, I am having a hard time going back to my work because I don’t want to leave my kids in our home with their Aunts and after 5 months still having the same problem that is why I decided to leave my work and try to applied for an online job so that I can be with my kids anytime I want.

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