Coping with stresses of motherhood

Motherhood is AMAZING but not EASY

When someone asks you “why don’t you hangout with us anymore?” Or “why didn’t you answer my call or message?” Or “you never have time for ya anymore?” Or “you have changed post baby?!” Don’t you just want to give your most intense stare and flick them on their heads. That’s their answer!!! I am sorry if that sounds rude but I have a 10 month old baby who is teething hence, irritated to the T and in pain, which he can’t express and I can’t comprehend. I have full household to run and some days catching a breath seems impossible!!! So, how do you think I am doing? I am always behind on my parlor appointments. I don’t remember when was the last time I took a decent shower and not hurry myself. I don’t remember when was the last time I ate my meal in peace.

I am exhausted, my arms ache by rocking baby all the time. My hair haven’t seen a hairdresser in two months. I haven’t been able to read a single page of the book I so excitedly bought. So, please don’t ask me why I forgot to ask how was your last weekend’s getaway?

Instead ask me:

“what keeps me going even on the hardest day?”

“ what keeps me motivated and excited when all I want to do is crash like lump of clothes?”

“How do I recharge myself, when I haven’t been out with my friends in months!!”

“How do I manage to stay upbeat about whole motherhood experience when I feel absolutely cut off from rest of the world?”

If you are genuinely interested in knowing how I am coping with tsunami size of responsibility that comes along with being a mom then I have a secret to share.

“I have learned how to steal time and make moments for me out of nothing. I hold on to these seemingly mundane activities, which my pre baby self never considered. No matter what happens, how my day is going I try and do these things. These are my survival hacks, my coping mechanism, my recharge station for all the crazy which comes along with Mommyhood. These are things that work for me, you can try those or ponder on what makes you smile on the worst day.

1) My me time is WE time

I try and ensure that me and my husband have minimum 15 minutes of adult conversation. I want to know how his day was and vice versa. What he did? Did he see something interesting on his way to work? Did he come across some cute puppy? How was his coffee? Conversation about which movie to watch next or what series to binge on. These regular pre baby talks tone down the chaos of entire day. Communication is the key.

2) Music

Oh!!! I can’t scream loud enough how 15 to 20 mins of your favorite music can revive and you will feel like a brand new person. So, usually when my baby is fed and diaper is changed, he is in his playful mood I hit the music. I will pick my baby up twirl with him. Hold my puppy’s legs and dance with him. Those twenty minutes even though I am playing and interacting with my stud muffin I consider them my CHILL OUT ZONE.

 

3) Daily Walks:

When it’s evening and gentle breeze is caressing your hair, face, body and mind, while you walk counting your blessings everything in the world seems just right. The feeling, universe showering it’s love on you and sky telling you to soar high in happiness of having a baby, a beautiful family, lovely dog and good food to enjoy with peachy health. It’s kind of impossible to not feel grateful and recharged.

4) Blogging:

Just being able to share my experiences and knowing I am not the only one is another stress buster. I read this quote once by a legendary star that he reads books because it shows him no problem is big enough and every problem has a solution . So, writing and reading blogs does exactly that for me. I share my experiences and read others, I know we all are in this together.

5) Self enforced weekends:

When you are stay at home mom there are no weekends. Your work never ends, there is baby, laundry, cleaning, kitchen, cooking and so on. But, once a week I just take a step back and that’s my weekend. Which means apart from taking care of baby (since he is still small and needs me) I don’t do any household chores. It’s an off day. Food is ordered or we go out. Dishes can be done next day and laundry can sit in the basked. A day off is non negotiable.

6) Online shopping:

Ok!! this one is my guilty pleasure. Lol! Like everyone else shopping is a stress buster for me as well, but frankly speaking I enjoy shopping for my baby more than I enjoy shopping for myself these days. I like to find unique products and helpful ones.

7) Late night net surfing:

Ohhh !!! This is another favorite of mine. Checking out news, reading fun articles, chatting with my friends or catching up on my messages, surfing Facebook, funny videos(on mute), dog videos or any other engaging stuff just for few minutes after I have put baby for goodnight’s sleep is my way of chilling. Did I mention that having hands to myself, to be able to type without switching baby from one side to another is also a highlight. You can tell me I should not look at screen right before sleeping and more but again, like I said at this stage of my life I take “Me Moments”, wherever and whenever I get it.

8) Weekend Binge:

I am still working on my postpartum body and I am far from my targeted weight and Inch loss. Let’s just say I am work in progress when it comes to weight department. Since, I am still breastfeeding I get extremely hungry, so, I can’t diet much but I have stopped indulging in deserts and refined sugar as much as I can during the weekdays. Therefore, enjoying a yummy desert on my enforced weekend is another highlight. I enjoy and let myself indulge in something sweet and something nice. It’s heavenly and no guilt, as it is just once a week.

9) Pedicure:

I like a good pampering session as much as anyone. Since, there is limited time and tons to do, I am yet to incorporate my whole beauty regimen, which I used to follow pre baby. Despite that I make it a point to get a nice pedicure at least thrice a month. It is one of my biggest stress busters and I love getting foot massages. It just feels all your tiredness has been squeezed out of your body. If you enjoy any pampering ritual which relaxes you, make time for it. Oh yes! And my baby loves to play with colored toes. So, I get extra excited in picking my nail colors.

10) Living in the moment

I don’t want to sound like some guru but I have learned it the hard way and therefore, I cherish the imperfections and difficulties that I face today because tomorrow will be a different moment to live and love in it’s awesome or maddening glory. So, if I find a moment I grab it. Make it my own and run away with it like there is no tomorrow.

These are my coping tactics mommies. I would love to hear yours.

Mum Mum Ma – Loving Mommyhood 🙂

12 replies »

  1. I completely agree with you. For me too, blogging started as an outlet for expressing myself and my emotions on the days when I felt the most stressed and alone.

  2. I really needed this today! There are so many things I can directly relate to it’s not even funny. I’m on the same page with the weight loss and I get these Atkins chocolate covered almonds to curb my sweet tooth during the week!

  3. As i was reading this, I felt like i wrote the first 4 because they are spot on=) I bought an Echo because I wanted to be able to listen to music but had no hands to turn it on=).

  4. Music, such a good point! I get so much joy having a moment to myself in the car and getting to listen to my own music even if it’s just a song or two. I also love listening to podcasts and audio books : )

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