Even when I was just a naive college student, I believed having a child is not something on your life’s to do list and once it’s done, you just tick the box and be done with it. I don’t believe, there is a thing like bio clock which is ticking like an atom bomb. I refuse to accept that giving birth to a baby is something every woman “should” do, as if it is part of her job description.
It’s like someone telling you “yeah! You there !!! Don’t just stand there… you are a woman, you have a functional womb, go reproduce”. I mean seriously blah!!
Bringing a new life in this world is the biggest decision you will ever take. Even though it is not in your control. You can wish for a child as much as you want but a soul will enter this world when it’s ready. Having said that wanting a baby is first step towards changing your life 180 degrees. So, to all women reading this, if, you are not ready for any reason. Don’t do it. It is not something you “should” be doing. It should be something you want so bad that you are not scared of ripping your own skin and making a new one, while you have a lunatic’s smile plastered on your face.
I have often seen and heard, once we have a baby, we tell our friends and family how they should also have one. If not that, how often a mother of a single child has been told you should have another baby. Or a single girl is asked when will she get married, when will she have babies? As if repopulating this earth in an event of apocalypse is her responsibility?! This doesn’t stop here, you are even judged if you have three or four kids. People will always have something to say or judge in some way. The answer to all the above questions is “it’s your choice, do it when you are ready.” Have no kids or as many you want. But do it for yourself.
I am not saying your partner doesn’t have a say. I am not saying don’t give importance to what he wants. A relationship works both ways. Having said that the veto power should be with you. Because as they say “Mother will always be mother.” Bottom line, when both, you and your partner feel like a well oiled machinery and having a child feels like as natural as breathing, that’s when you know, you are ready. You can’t do it alone. A child needs both of you.
I know there have been tons of videos, blogs, articles saying the same thing. It is expected, once you are a mother, your opinion should change. Well, I am a mother now. My baby is my life, heart, soul and even more, if there is such a thing in universe. Seeing one tear drop from his eyes is excruciating. Pain of being in labor followed by post partum madness stands no where in comparison to joy I feel every time I scoop my him in my arms. But…it’s because I was ready. I wanted this and so did my husband. We wanted to have a little human in our lives. We wanted our lives to go topsy turvy and then carve a new normal for us. We wanted a high chair next to our dining table and incredible amount of mess a little body can make. Keyword being “us” and the other keyword is “U”. Are you ready? No one can answer that for you. No one should have to. At least be assured there is one more person on this earth who will not be assessing or judging you for your “CHOICE” and that’s a start.
Live it, love it, own it & nail it
Be the woman of your CHOICE!!!
Love and mommyhood
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Categories: Baby care